Feel Better!

Brittany Barnes suffered through appendicitis! I skipped fourth with Lizzy and Kayla today to go to the hospital and see her. She looks alot better than what her mom described -_-. It was alot of fun going their actually, like we got lost in the elevator and we pushed the security button for help and we just goofed off and made Brittany feel better. FEEL BETTER! DONT DIEEE! :[

My horoscope also said that my feelings are gonna be rushed ovver me and that im gonna either hurt someone I carea bout by exploading on them or I am going to go for a nice relaxing run shooting out those feelings. I am right now about to expload I hate being home so much but I have no one to hang out with! I hateee my family right now sooo much :[

I will be in shape and quit soda sooner or later (on impulse I accidently already drank 2 pepsi's :[) I also left my watter bottle at school :[

Point Taken

I have realized that the point that has been slapping me in the face has finally settled in, or prematurely scared my body. I dont know what to do about it but ill figure it out sooner or later. Whatever it is its got to happen this year or im about to explode. Most people already know or suspect so whats the point? I refuse to reveal it in a blog it will have to be in person.

also what is with everyone telling me that they like cats more? im sorry I dont take care of your insecure cat issues but I can proudly say that I love cats wayyyy more than anyone. NO one will ever understand my relationship with cats.

Another point taken is, STAY OUT OF IT, I got it. I will stay out of whatever it is but something unchangable and living comes from it than you can fuck off. I am not going to be your baby sitter anymore. Can't blame me, cant touch me, or do anything. I WANT IT OUT OF MY LIFE. I get put into situatiojns where I literally want to blow my brains all over the wall. The insanity and not to forget but the BARF that happens when I see it is going to either make me kill you or myself.

LAST POINT TAKEN. I understand that im not as happy or "uppidy" as last year. Lets review why, I made a whole bunch of friends just to realize that they all want me drunk and high and to fuck up my body. WHAT GIVES PEOPLE THE IDEA OF PUTTING SMOKE INTO THEIR BODY. It obviosly doesnt help. I hate getting peer pressured to do it too. I dont understand why people think its fun and cool to permantely cause WHOLES IN YOUR BRAIN. It doesnt only hurt your lungs! Well the real reason im not as "uppidy" as I usually am is because at this point and time im not really myself, but im not depressed either. I am Content. I like being content so im not everywhere with everybody all the time.

Update :D

SO I finally get my own room after 7 years of sharing a room with Kevan! I just couldn't take it anymore so I got a desk, and cleaned out my old room I had before my grandma died it was used as storage after my grandma passed. We painted it this orange/brownish colour called Chai Spice, it came out alot more orange than I would have liked, but I still like it non-the-less. All I gotta do now is move my bed into their, get some carpet, and then im done! I got a desk from Katherines family! :DDD its a really nice desk! it does have a spot on their that I will just need to cover it. Its going to be a wonderful room! I wanted to change the carpet but apparently my parents said tha'd be too much. So its a whatev! :DD

Pressure

I swear, the feelings I have been having have only made me come to realize that what I have been feeling, all my life are set in stone. Theirs no way of escaping it, maybe I was just born like this, maybe I just decided this, whatever I am feeling is not what I wanted. Not what my parents wanted, and definitely not my brothers.

I swear, iv realized what iv been feeling for years, but I continually pushed it out, away from reality or else I would have been disowned and ashamed. Even though I have not even expressed what I am talking about in this blog I still feel the respiration among my lungs slowly stop by every passing moment. I cant take it any more, I feel like I am caged forced to live the life of my parents or my brothers! I am nothing like them, they dont even know, no one knows.

I dont know how this happened, or why, or what the consequences are. Yet, I still need to say something, it cant be bottled up, but I cant say it in this blog. It would not be sanitary, it needs to slowly be brought up.

-Connor B.

Working!

Im working on trying to not make my blogs so long! sorry for the first one! :[
I just feel the need to express how and why my day went like.

-Connor B.

Box Filled!

Today was an abnormally hot day. I had a very interesting yet contradicting dream. I had a dream that I was with my friend Emilie, but I was a Death Eater and she was just a witch in the world of Harry Potter. I love having dreams about Harry Potter, especially when they have other friends in them. Well Lord Voldemort, or the One-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, had ordered me to use the torture curse and the killing curse on my friend Emilie. I denied his order and for that I was tortured, not only from the torture curse, but from also the mind. Lord Voldemort went ahead and murdered Emilie. I woke up, it was a very smoggy morning for a fact, it was too hot. I was burning up within the confines of my bed sheets. Yet I lay their, thinking "what does this fine bright morning have in store for me."

I found my older brother up before me, like usual, and we played a couple rounds of "Left 4 Dead" a game about a group of 4 survivors in a apocalyptic world with zombies. Yes my brothers are losers, we play nerdy computer games a lot. We had just gotten back from Loon Lake and my sunburns had extraordinarily dissipated over night, except for my nose of course! Later throughout that morning my twin brother Kevan had woken up and joined us in a game of Left 4 Dead. I was unaware until an hour before, that Aubrie was coming over and I was still in my pajamas and smelt like sweaty teenage boy! Kevan had already jumped into the shower before me so the only thing I could do was hope he was fast. He did get out before Aubrie had arrived, in the meantime I was printing out a job application for my friend Sylvie, she wanted to see if Ben & Jerry's was hiring. Unfortunately they weren't hiring. So as Kevan was getting out of the Shower I had two friends coming over at the same time while I was still gross looking! I quickly toke a five minute shower and then Sylvie called saying that she was coming over in 22 seconds! so I quickly rushed to the door and got her job application! Aubrie had already came before that, but she was in the other room so she didnt see me undressed. I like to be only in my boxers when I come out of the shower, it makes me feel like I am able to breath.

Aubrie was over for most of the day, then I spent a good hour at her house having a good time like friends should always have. She offered me some Mountain Dew, my favorite drink in the whole entire world, but I refused because I hate taking other peoples soda. I really disagree with accepting the offer of other peoples soda because most people actually cherish the taste of soda, I drink soda within about forty seconds. We attempted to fly a Kite, but the wind was dead, just like a dead squirrel I saw today, yet we ran in the blazing heat to make the kite fly. We returned back to Aubries home, only for me to notice a empty cardboard box! Being silly as I usually am around my friends, I attempted to fit in the cardboard box, I fit! I then went home to go to dinner at Chapalas. Chapalas was my favorite restaurant for awhile, then like most things happen, I got really really tired of it. It is always tense at the dinner table, I dont know why but some subjects should just be kept to yourself.

Now I am home, thinking of a comfortable bed just begging me to sleep in it.

-Connor B.