Pressure

I swear, the feelings I have been having have only made me come to realize that what I have been feeling, all my life are set in stone. Theirs no way of escaping it, maybe I was just born like this, maybe I just decided this, whatever I am feeling is not what I wanted. Not what my parents wanted, and definitely not my brothers.

I swear, iv realized what iv been feeling for years, but I continually pushed it out, away from reality or else I would have been disowned and ashamed. Even though I have not even expressed what I am talking about in this blog I still feel the respiration among my lungs slowly stop by every passing moment. I cant take it any more, I feel like I am caged forced to live the life of my parents or my brothers! I am nothing like them, they dont even know, no one knows.

I dont know how this happened, or why, or what the consequences are. Yet, I still need to say something, it cant be bottled up, but I cant say it in this blog. It would not be sanitary, it needs to slowly be brought up.

-Connor B.